If you live with diabetes, chances are you’ve heard it before:

“Should you be eating that?”
“Are you allowed cake?”
“I thought people with diabetes can’t have sugar?”

These comments often come up at the worst possible times—birthday parties, Christmas lunch, Easter gatherings, or when you’re simply trying to enjoy a meal out. While usually well-meaning, they can feel intrusive, judgmental, and frankly exhausting.

If you are nodding your head, you are not alone. Diabetes stigma is still very real and is an important topic for discussion.

The problem with “food policing”

As you know, diabetes management is complex, individual, and influenced by many factors—medication, other medical conditions, activity, stress, timing, and overall eating patterns.

Yet people often reduce it to a single moment:
– one slice of cake
– one dessert
– one meal

This kind of “food policing”:

• Oversimplifies diabetes
• Reinforces outdated myths
• Can create shame or guilt around food
• Undermines a person’s autonomy and lived experience

The reality? People with diabetes can include a wide variety of foods in their diet. What matters most is the overall pattern, not one occasion.

Special occasions are part of life

Food is more than fuel—it’s connection, culture, and celebration.

Whether it’s:

• Christmas dinner with all the trimmings
• Birthday cake
• Easter chocolate
• A meal out with friends

These moments matter. Managing diabetes doesn’t mean missing out, it means making informed, flexible choices that work for you.

What to do when someone comments?

Having a few go-to responses can make these situations easier. The goal isn’t to argue, it’s to set boundaries, educate (if you want to), or simply move on.

Calm and confident

• “I’ve got it under control, thanks”
• “I work this into my plan”
• “I know how this affects me”

 Light but firm

• “If I had a dollar for every time I heard that…”
• “Good thing you’re not my dietitian!”
• “I can assure you, I’ve done this before”

Educational (if you feel like it)

• “People with diabetes can eat all kinds of foods, it’s about balance”
• “It’s not just about sugar; there’s a lot more to it”
• “One food doesn’t define my health”

Boundary-setting

• “I’d rather not talk about my food choices”
• “I appreciate your concern, but I’ve got this”

And sometimes, the best response is no response at all.

The bigger picture: tackling stigma

Comments like “should you be eating that?” might seem small, but over time they contribute to:

• Feeling judged or watched
• Anxiety around eating in public
• Misunderstanding of diabetes in the wider community

Reducing stigma starts with awareness:

• Diabetes is not caused by a single food
• Management looks different for everyone
• People living with diabetes are the experts in their own care

Remember:

You don’t need to justify your food choices.
You don’t need permission to enjoy a celebration.
And you don’t need to carry the weight of other people’s misunderstandings.

By Rebecca McPhee, Accredited Practising Dietitian